It's amazing how such a small being can be filled with so much love.
Today was emotionally challenging for me. I am known for bottling up my emotions and not letting them out, (which I am slowly working on) but tonight I hit a breaking point and there was no barrier. I felt like I have taken all that I can take. I felt like I was weak and had no backbone to help me stand anymore. I started wondering if I could ever make it past the sticks and be able to dive into the soft, warm sand. Tonight, my heart just couldn't take any more and I sat and I cried. I cried and I cried, like I have never cried before. I sunk my head into my hands and filled them with tears. I thought of all of the things in my life that are going wrong, and all of the emotional hits I have taken. I couldn't feel hope. The tears were seeping through my fingers.......until I felt small, soft hands touch mine. She took my hands, one in each of hers and opened them up to play 'peek-a-boo'. I looked up at her with tears down my face and she was smiling from ear to ear. At that moment, my heart seemed to sew a small stitch back together. Ellie is filled with so much love, and I know that she wants her mommy to be happy. She was so concerned about me and gave me a big kiss.
I was lucky to be given a small boost to help overcome my weakness. Something so small, helped me to get on my feet, take a breath, and remind myself that I need to take it one day at a time. My heart will eventually make its way back to a whole, and I will be able to be the person that I know I am. Love is what makes the world go round. I think the world could always use more of it :)