Saturday, April 2, 2011

love

It's amazing how such a small being can be filled with so much love.


Today was emotionally challenging for me.  I am known for bottling up my emotions and not letting them out, (which I am slowly working on) but tonight I hit a breaking point and there was no barrier. I felt like I have taken all that I can take. I felt like I was weak and had no backbone to help me stand anymore. I started wondering if I could ever make it past the sticks and be able to dive into the soft, warm sand. Tonight, my heart just couldn't take any more and I sat and I cried. I cried and I cried, like I have never cried before. I sunk my head into my hands and filled them with tears. I thought of all of the things in my life that are going wrong, and all of the emotional hits I have taken. I couldn't feel hope. The tears were seeping through my fingers.......until I felt small, soft hands touch mine. She took my hands, one in each of hers and opened them up to play 'peek-a-boo'. I looked up at her with tears down my face and she was smiling from ear to ear.  At that moment, my heart seemed to sew a small stitch back together. Ellie is filled with so much love, and I know that she wants her mommy to be happy. She was so concerned about me and gave me a big kiss.

I was lucky to be given a small boost to help overcome my weakness. Something so small, helped me to get on my feet, take a breath, and remind myself that I need to take it one day at a time. My heart will eventually make its way back to a whole, and I will be able to be the person that I know I am. Love is what makes the world go round. I think the world could always use more of it :)

5 comments:

  1. What a precious little one you have. They always seem to know when their love is needed and do such a sweet job at showing it. Im glad she was there for you.. Good thing she always will be. :)

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  2. I love you!!!!! I wish I hard the drive you have school work Eillie. I look up to you and all your cute ideas and craftiness on top of it all! You are loved from us at our house!!!

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  3. so beautiful, michelle. tears in my eyes. isn't it amazing how their love works? totally indescribable.
    you're gonna make it. you're strong. it's okay to break, though. it just means you're human. :)

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  4. This post made me tear up. I'm just like you emotionally I keep everything inside and then another thing goes wrong and I just cry my eyes out. Ellie is a blessing for you to have. She has such a sweet spirit and age loves her mom. Your a sting lady, and you've been through a lot. You can make it through whatever your going through!

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  5. I seriously am on the verge of bawling my eyes out.
    Michelle, I just want you to know you're amazing! I look
    up to you a lot, a ton! You are so strong and so amazing, and
    your little girl is blessed to have you...and you her.
    If you ever need to talk, know i'm here and willing to listen.
    I know you will be blessed.

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