Saturday, September 4, 2010

ahhhh the beauty of parenthood

(Warning: All people with un-easy stomachs, may want to skip this post)
It all started when I decided to take my sweet Ellie Mae to dinner. What a great idea! I was craving some sushi, so we went to Happy Sumo. The nice hostess seated us at a table near two other tables that were occupied with young couples. These tables were extremely close to each other and I could just tell that one of the couples were mad that their dinner could be interupted by an infant blabbering over their "romantic talk". Sorry people. get over it.
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Anywho, the tables had crate paper over the tops to keep the table cloth clean--unless that is, if you have an infant like myself. The second I put Ellie in her high chair, she grabbed the paper with her hands and started raising her hands up and down making everything on the table tip over..which wasn't THAT big of a deal. I just had to fix the things on the table and move her high chair farther away.
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Meanwhile, the lovely waitress brings a glass of water out, puts it on the table and instantly Ellie hits the glass with her hand, resulting in water being spilled all over the table-- also soaking through the paper onto the table cloth. LOVELY. Luckily it's just water.
By this time, the couples around me were staring at me for rudely interupting their date night and giving me the look of "can't you control your child?" I just kept thinking to myself that they must not have kids...because then they would be more sympathetic right??
The waitress came and took off the soaked piece of paper and replaced it with a new one, also bringing out a new glass of water-which I was smart enough to put far away from the little rebel child.
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Ok, now that that has happened.... we can relax and finally look at the menu. Right? Wrong.
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I realized that Ellie hadn't had a bottle for a few hours so that was why she was fussy. I decided that I better make her one first before anything else.(if I was thinking, I would have made her one before I even got in the restaurant, but welcome to Michelle's life) So, I went into the bathroom to fill her bottle up with water, but it was cold water...and Ellie being the spoiled baby that she is, will NOT have a cold bottle. So, I went back to the table and kindly asked the server for a cup of warm water. Luckily she was a very nice person...because I know if I would have been serving someone like me...I would already be annoyed at this point. But she brought me a cup of warm water, then I fixed the bottle and layed Ellie on my lap so that she could drink it.
Then it happened.
A warm sensation started spreading on my thighs...I stopped dead in my tracks, as the blood drained from my face... I then very SLOWLY lifted Ellie's back up off my lap. And there it was...a big-and I mean BIG...smudge of brown poo was now all over my dress.
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uhhh FOR REAL?!?
oh- and not to mention, the couples next to me saw the look on my face and I am sure they got a good whiff of the digested squash that I fed Ellie for lunch which was now all over my dress. They knew exactly what happened, and one of the guys made a disgusted look to his date who at this point was now appetite free thanks to Ellie and her awesomely-timed bowl movements.
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Yup, this dinner is not happening. I told the server that we were just going to leave and I thanked her for being so nice. I left with a poopy child, a poopy dress, a couple of glares from people, and a stomach that was definitely not so hungry anymore.
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To top it all off, I opened the diaper bag to get a new diaper and found Ellie's can of formula had spilled completely over everything that was in there. Yup. This night WINS.

8 comments:

  1. Just found your blog. Oh, my! Welcome to motherhood and God bless ya! Hang in there and do your best to ignore romantic-dirty-look-from-the-next-table type people. Life will eventually catch up to them too :)

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  2. hahah, oh the joys of being a mother! we can't take sophia out without someone giving us a glare or two. people need to get over it, seriously. it's pathetic.

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  3. it is true - those folks next to you will find themselves covered in poop one day.

    and seriously, it's like babies know when you aren't on the ball. the first time i changed ellie in a public restroom she literally exploded in both directions while her diaper was open. of course, i didn't bring any other clothes so i ended up making a toga out of her blanket and wrapping her up in a jacket. what can you do but try and learn from your mistakes, right? oh, and laugh. a lot.

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  4. Yeah it really is stressful taking kids to dinner. I really hate when people are dumb and stare. Sorry you had such a horrible experience. That's one for the books! Next time we'll go & I promise they'll be looking at my child, not yours :)

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  5. I'm sorry that sounds horrible! It always sucks when you have people staring at you cause you have kids, but to be pooped on too!... That just takes the cake!

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  6. you poor thing! :( The worst thing about that whole night was the rude patrons...there is nothing that can ruin your outings more than glaring and sucky people who don't empathize for you. But, they will have thier turn too, and then they will be in your shoes (or dress!) ;)

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  7. Dang. I'm sorry. I know the feeling.. I've had similar situations. It is so frustrating that people aren't more tolerant -- There isn't much you can do about stuff like that.

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  8. Oh man, the joys of little ones. Just figure though, one day instead of being an embarrassing story to you, you'll be able to bring it up and embarrass her, haha.

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